Friday, July 10, 2015

Day 35


So I've been putting this off. To be completely honest, a large part of me just wanted to let my original 4th of July vacation hiatus with #TheImageProject slide into "oh no I honestly just forgot about it... I've been so busy I just didn't have time..." when in reality I just wanted an excuse to stop. A convenient way to get myself out of something that feels hard and vulnerable. 

And in reality, that's what this has been for me. Hard and vulnerable. And that's kind of exhausting. Some days I want to share my emotions and self with the world, but a lot of days I just want to curl up and hide. Those days I don't want anyone to see me, I just want to get through my day and back to my bed and my book. Maybe it's just my introverted side re-exerting itself, but I think that part of it is the vulnerability of it all. A lot of the time I just don't want to put myself out there for fear of the potential criticism. (Which has been basically non-existent, as my friends are wonderful and supportive, but that doesn't stop me imagining that a lot of people are ridiculing me in their heads if they happen to find my blog.) 

But at some level, I also don't want to regret only getting to day 34 out of my proposed 100. So I'm going to give it another go and pick it up from here. Or at least try.   

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